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December 30th, 2016 by ΔΠΣ - Pennsauken, NJ - USA
Man Gets 30 Years to Life in Facebook Jail for Offensive Post
Just another day on the Interwebs, or so thought Mike N. Yewmadd, who had no idea his post with a silhouetted picture of the soon to be Former First Lady in a not so flattering pose was going to get flagged by one of his "friends"
and reported to the Facebook Gestapo. Apparently, such pictures are not suitable and against Facebook Policy §3. sub 7.
The law firm representing him - Dewey, Cheatham and Howe - say this is unprecedented and are appealing the decision. However, it's most likely for naught, as Mark Zuckerberg donned a virtual Judge's Wig and Robe and
pounded his virtual Gavel and said "This is my court, my rules. Don't like them - start your own Social Media Website." right after announcing the sentence of 30 years to life in Facebook Jail. Of course, Facebook being
an Internet thing, and as Internet things go, 30 years to life really means 72 hours.
During his incarceration, many of Mike's friends posted "Free Yewmadd" and tagged Zuckerberg in it. Some even went to the extent of using Facebook's new "Go Live" feature to make videos
of themselves yelling "Free Yewmadd" while driving around in their cars.
Yewmadd could not be reached for comment, as apparently his IM was impacted by the blackout as well.
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