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December 31st, 2016 by ΔΠΣ - Washington, DC - USA
Last Minute Executive Action - Obama Orders All Americans Must Insure Pets
Attempting to get out as many ridiculous Executive Orders as possible before being de-crowned, Lame Duck President Obama just signed an Executive Order requiring all Americans to carry Health Insurance on their pets. The really bad
news is that just like the ironically named "Affordable Care Act", it comes with some pretty hefty consequences for those who don't acquire coverage before the end of the year, i.e. tomorrow.
"You should absolutely be able to keep your existing Veterinarian." the President said; though nobody is certain if any Vets will even accept the insurance. Nevertheless, Obama set up a GoFundMe Account
that Americans must immediately begin paying into in order to be ACAFP (Affordable Care Act for Pets) compliant. However, the account strangely looks like a front for the Clinton Foundation, which was hit hard when she lost the
Presidency to Donald Trump. Experts believe this is because it quickly became obvious to all Clinton's foreign donors (especially known Middle Eastern Terrorists) that her promised favors to them won't come to fruition.
"Health Care for your Pets is an absolute Right, guaranteed under the Constitution. I should know as I'm a Constitutional Attorney," started the outgoing Administrator, "and those who won't provide for
their pets necessary Health Care Coverage will be fined $100 per day per pet." finished the president with his usual candor.
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