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December 23rd, 2016 by ΔΠΣ - Long Branch, NJ - USA
Bruce Springsteen Decides to Finally Take Guitar Lessons
Since 1972, Entertainer Bruce Springsteen has vied for success the easy way, dupe your audience. Now nearly 4 and one half decades later, he has finally decided to take guitar lessons. "I figured it was time," the 67 year old
entertainer said in a statement today, continuing "...after all these years to stop air guitaring on my real guitar," he hesitated "...I think its called a Bumper Telescoper or some dumb sh*t like that. Hah, hah!"
Members of the E-Street Band, who have always done all the music for him, said "...the reason he's called 'The Boss' goes back to the old adage of 'promote the incompetent', since he was the least
competent of all of us, we made him the boss. It's kind of a joke." said Steven Van Zandt, actual guitarist for Bruce Springsteen.
Van Zandt added that while the early 50's Transparent Butterscotch Blonde Fender Esquire "...looks a lot like a Tele with the added neck pickup, it's in practically new condition as it's never really been played. It just looks old because
Bruce tends to throw bottles at it when he gets drunk. Reminds me of those new relic finishes that Fender is trying to pass off as chic and expensive these days."
Asked what his first goal was with guitar lessons, Bruce said "Well, I got wearing it down. I got holding the pick down. I got looking cool with it down. I guess maybe if I could learn a different chord, that'd be pretty sweet. The guys
in the band are always talking about A Chords, C Chords, D Chords, G Chords. You know, low on the alphabet sh*t. I want to be innovative, ya' know? I want to learn an M Chord."
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